


worthiness

by days4daisy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Extra Treat, First Time, M/M, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Post-Avengers (2012)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-21 02:09:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17634020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/days4daisy/pseuds/days4daisy
Summary: Steve knows what Thor's look means. It’s a look that, long ago, Steve gave other men too. And it is not what Steve expected when thunder and a knock on his apartment door interrupted his night.





	worthiness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [salazarastark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/salazarastark/gifts).



> Happy Chocolate Box, salazarastark! Hope you like this treat :)

It may be the drum of fingers along the edge of Thor’s water glass. The weird, tense silence that falls over their conversation. Or the fact that Thor is here in the first place. Steve can't help but put two and two together.

“I hope you do not find this forward, captain,” Thor says. “My companions are loyal beyond compare, brave warriors and trusted friends.” He taps his glass with medical precision. Measuring out words, trying to figure out what to say. “But I find myself...withdrawn from our usual merry-making. We have shared many battles and will share many more, but they did not see what you and I saw. It was not their company I desired.”

“My door’s always open, Thor,” Steve says. He glances at Thor’s glass when the measured tapping stops. When Steve raises his eyes, Thor is watching him.

Steve is still adjusting to this time and suddenly bigger universe. The rules of the game have not changed, but the players are all different. The music, the language, the culture, the species, the planets... Steve feels trapped in some giant maze, hitting new walls at every turn.

But the meanings behind life’s gestures, in large part, have not changed. Steve knows what Thor's look means. It’s a look that, long ago, Steve gave other men too. And it is not what Steve expected when thunder and a knock on his apartment door interrupted his night. Thor showed up in Earth clothes, his gray t-shirt and jeans jarring.

“With the Bifrost restored, my people must address uprisings across the Nine. Asgard’s absence has left the realms vulnerable. I felt a reprieve would prepare me better than an evening languishing about my chambers. It is…” Thor scrapes teeth across his lip, “odd...to know my brother sits shackled in the dungeons below.”

Odd to Thor, but it is welcome news to Steve. He thinks of Coulson, awkward conversations punctuated by dedication and brightness. He thinks of New York, Steve’s much-changed home, left in a smoking pile of rubble. Though Steve has taken to Washington, it is not the same.

Still, Steve gets it in his own way. Family and all its complicated workings. “You did what you had to, Thor. That doesn’t make it easy.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Thor agrees. His hands link together. “Captain-”

“Look, I’m flattered. I am.” It isn’t a lie, and for a moment Steve second-guesses his intent to let Thor down. He could go through with the offer in Thor’s eyes, the unspoken request dangling on Thor’s tongue.

But Steve is still facing the past while the rest of the universe moves forward. How does Steve begin to process what Thor - not even human - is looking for now, today, in this time?

Thor nods. “You do not find me worthy. I understand.” He smiles, small but genuine, and plucks his glass from the table again.

Steve blinks. “It has nothing to do with worthiness-”

“It’s alright, captain.” The tension built into Thor’s shoulders relaxes. “Tell me about your new home. The structures are much different here than in New York. Your abode is quite nice; an apartment, that’s what it’s called, isn’t it? How are you adjusting?”

The thought of worthiness lingers for Steve, a nagging seed of doubt in his mind. But it is a lead he needs to consider, something that requires thought before action. Containing the idea for now, Steve smiles and answers.

***

It has nothing to do with worthiness. Thor is one of few people (or extraterrestrial beings) Steve has come to like and respect since he was pulled from the ice. Under impossible circumstances, Steve found Thor honest and brave. Sometimes arrogant, sure, but Thor has a good heart. He wants to believe the best in people even under the worst circumstances. Steve understands the sentiment better than most.

It has nothing to do with lack of attraction either. Steve never considered the idea before, but it's not as if Thor isn’t handsome. He reminds Steve of a type he once idolized: big, rough bruisers. On cold nights back in Brooklyn, long before the serum, Steve would place a vision like Thor in his head. He would close his eyes and touch himself to thoughts of a lover so overpowering. Next to those kinds of thoughts, what hope was there for Bucky to loop Steve in on double dates? Steve was as disinterested as the women Buck wanted him to woo.

Then, Steve’s body was remade like the ones he used to fantasize about.

Thor is talking about an uprising on another planet. Or realm - this is all so new, Steve struggles to recognize the difference. “Vanaheim is a green place. You would like it. The trees have grown for centuries, with communities built out of the landscape. My dear friend Hogun hails from Vanaheim. Its mounting violence concerns him, as it does me.”

War is a subject much easier for Steve to process. “How long do you expect the campaign to take?”

“Depends on what we find. A matter of days, we hope. But it could be weeks, even months, if the insurgency is larger than our scouts predict.”

“Hidden cells,” Steve agrees. “It's hard to know until you get people on the ground.”

“Exactly.” Thor smiles. “You have a great mind for strategy, captain.”

It’s a big compliment from Thor, but Steve can’t help but roll his eyes. “Thanks, but I wouldn’t mind taking that war prowess and putting it towards other things sometimes.”

“Is that so? Like what?”

Steve shrugs. “I don’t know. Anything? So much is different. For you, the time I missed is like the blink of an eye, but I’m starting from scratch and the world has a seven decade head start.”

“It isn't,” Thor says.

Steve frowns. “What?”

“It is not like the blink of an eye to me.” Thor drags a thumb along the rim of his glass. “Not when you tell your story. For me, yes, seventy years is relative. But it is harrowing, truly, what you’ve been through." Thor's eyes shift. "I know only a piece of how you feel. The disorientation of a life lived and...lost in a sense.”

Steve sees the lip he snags between his teeth, the tension of words not yet said tightening his jaw. “For 1500 years, I have been Thor, Son of Odin. Destined to be King of Asgard, and my brother Loki would fight by my side forever. Now, my brother is no longer my brother in blood or belief. I...watched him fall, by choice, into the great void of the cosmos. I believed him dead, then he returned, this...creature beset by madness.”

Thor glances at Steve. “Were my father to offer me the crown on this day, in truth, I would not accept it. What I desired my whole life now feels like the final turn of a lie I’ve trapped myself inside.

“You too seem to be at a crossroads. Who you once were is necessary in this time, yet you cannot be that person anymore.” He purses his lips. “You are quite brave to pursue life as you do.”

“I don’t know about that,” Steve says. “Most days, 'brave' is the last thing I feel.” It’s a thought he can’t remember voicing out loud before. “But we all have to get up and face each day. What other choice is there?”

To Steve, it’s a pretty unremarkable thought. But Thor’s expression softens like Steve has said something monumental. “When you put it like that, it is a rather easy decision,” Thor agrees.

Steve tries to picture what it would be like to give Thor what he made this trip for. To give his back, to spread his legs. Steve thinks he can do it, and he thinks he wants to. Steve is drawn to Thor; his outlook, his presence, his heavy eyes crossing the couch. Steve’s discomfort is in the act itself, the loss of control. It’s a hang up from a lifetime ago, before the serum transformed his body into something he could only dream of.

It is, like Thor put it, an easy decision.

“Thor-”

“Would you mind if I stayed the night?" Thor interrupts. "I’m more than happy to sleep on your lounger here. It is quite comfortable.” His smile turns wistful. “I was banished to Earth for a time. A long story. Daybreak on your world is quite beautiful. Its colors and its softness… It is not the same where I am from. I dare say, it’s not the same anywhere. I would very much like to see it before returning home.”

Steve exhales. “I don’t mind at all."

It's been too long since Steve pursued someone. When Steve takes Thor’s hand, the gesture feels awkward. Steve steels himself, a thumb tracing Thor’s knuckles. His eyes settle on Thor’s downcast face, on a gaze now fixed to Steve’s hand.

“Captain.” With a chuckle, Thor pulls his hand away. “Thank you, but this is far too generous.”

For a bewildering moment, Steve thinks he's misjudged this entire situation. “Oh.” The response trips out. “I thought you wanted-”

“Oh, I did,” Thor quickly says. “I do. But I would never force this from you.” He smiles. “You find me unworthy. I take no offense, I swear. I value your friendship far too much.”

“I never said- look, you’re not unworthy,” Steve tells him. “It wasn’t you, it- I had to decide if I could. With everything that's happened. But I can. If you still want to.”

Thor frowns. “But do you desire this with me?” As healthy as Thor’s ego is, the humility catches Steve off-guard.

“Yeah,” Steve says. “Yeah, I do. With you.”

Thor looks surprised, a subtle widening of his eyes. His expression turns curious, and he shifts closer. The closed distance catches the attention of Steve’s body. Will Thor be rough? Will he be gentle? Steve's fingers twitch in anticipation.

“Tell me what I should do,” Thor says.

Steve blinks. “What?”

“What would you like me to do?” Thor smiles, head cocked in a way that lets the tip of his tied hair sweep his shoulder. “I’d like you to tell me.”

It is Steve’s turn for surprise. Dawning realization wrinkles his forehead. “Oh. You want me to…”

Thor’s mirth slips. “Are you alright?” he asks - soft, frowning concern.

“Yeah.” A startled laugh makes Steve’s chest jump. “Let’s- can we start over? Let’s start over.”

“Gladly,” Thor says. The worry does not quite leave his eyes, but he manages a questioning smile.

Steve still isn’t sure he’s reading this situation right. He must be, there are only so many ways to take ‘tell me what I should do,’ but... “Why don’t we start small?” He taps his pointer finger against his mouth.

Thor curls fingers over the nape of Steve’s neck. His kiss is respectful, something from a bygone era. From Steve’s era, a tender greeting urged along by fingers kneading Steve’s scalp.

Steve turns towards Thor, a hand curled into his shirt. Thor seems to like this; Steve feels him smile. Thor sinks back into the couch cushions, taking Steve with him. He guides Steve to weigh him down. Curious, inviting, Thor’s lips slip open.

They fit closer together, little space between them for air. Thor groans approval, a thumb traced across Steve's cheek. Steve feels smothered, wound up in arms. For a quick warm-up, they're awfully close together. Steve straddles Thor's waist and grinds him down into the cushions. Thor's hands travel under Steve's shirt, raking over the small of his back.

Steve becomes aware of budding hardness between his legs. The jut of thickness under Thor's jeans.

“Let's take this to the bedroom,” Steve suggests.

Thor gives his reddened mouth a lick. “Of course.” He is a rucked mess, jeans tented and t-shirt hiked to his chest. His hair has begun to fall from its tie, blond strands framing his kiss-warmed face.

Thor joins Steve on his feet and tests fingers up Steve's chest. They are so close that Steve can't resist catching his mouth in a quick kiss. Or, it's supposed to be quick.

Before Steve knows it, they have stumbled from the couch. Steve has Thor's hair loose, blonde strands spilling over Thor's shoulders. Thor pauses to hum against Steve's mouth, “May I?” He jiggles the hem of Steve's t-shirt.

“What?” Steve laughs. “I mean, yeah, knock yourself out.”

A flurry of activity gets lost in Thor's mouth. They move with awkward steps towards the bedroom. Shirts pile in Steve's hallway, first his, then Thor's. Steve's fingers find their way into Thor's belt loops. Thor's approval rumbles against Steve's lips.

Thor sinks to the bed, legs straddled to welcome Steve close. His open lips kiss a wet path across Steve's torso. Steve’s head feels lighter.

“May I, captain?” Thor grazes the edge of Steve's pants.

“Yeah.” There is no laughing this time. “Go ahead.”

Thor takes his time easing down Steve's sweatpants. His mouth, all the while, feasts on Steve's chest. Steve gasps when Thor's mouth fastens to one of his nipples. He drags his tongue across it, fat and hot. Pleasure shocks down Steve's spine. By the time Thor rolls his underwear down, Steve is already hard.

“Would you like my mouth, captain?” Thor kisses the words into Steve's chest.

Steve groans - he's crazy for almost turning this down. “Yeah, I would,” he says. “But let me get on the bed first. And you're wearing too much.”

Thor laughs, sounding far too pleased. “Forgive me,” he says. “How careless.”

Thor stands as Steve sits and pinches the top button of his jeans. Steve doesn't think the guy means to put on a show, but he's doing it anyway. Thor takes his time peeling the denim down, and easing his underwear off his blushed cock. Long as it's been, the sight makes Steve hungry. It takes effort to wait for Thor to come to him. Steve's hands itch to reach out.

With a smile and no hesitation whatsoever, Thor sinks to his knees. He said he wanted this, but it still surprises Steve when Thor bows into Steve's lap. His hair strokes Steve's thighs as his lips open. He drags his tongue over Steve's cockhead with a cursory lick.

Steve's breath catches in his throat. “You don't have to do this,” he says.

Thor's curious gaze flicks upward. “Why would I not want to?” He sounds genuinely puzzled, and all Steve can offer is an awkward shrug. Back in Steve's day, even his most willing companions were not so...openly into this sort of thing.

Thor has no reservations about gathering Steve's cock in his mouth. Steve feels his hum, quiet and pleased. Thor winds a gentle hand around the base. He's feeding himself - the thought fizzles through Steve's mind. He combs a hand through Thor's hair so he can see his face better. Thor's mouth rests in an easy loop, low lidded eyes drinking in Steve's length. He sucks to the edge of his own fingers, then draws the hand away so he can have more.

Steve, in days past, struggled not to choke, but Thor descends with little more than a hitched breath. Thor's tongue is hot and soft under Steve'a weight. His lips are wet, and a dull blush spreads across his cheeks. Exhales burst hot against Steve's stomach. Steve's fingers tense in Thor's hair, and a low sound purrs around him. Thor shifts deeper between his legs, a flex of his shoulder blades.

He lifts his head long enough to lick his swollen lips. “I enjoy your taste, captain.”

Steve laughs, a bit breathless. “Thanks. Not sure anyone's told me that before.”

Thor considers this, and settles on a shrug. “They are fools then,” he says, and lowers his head again. He is more persistent, rising and falling at a torturous pace. Steve's fingers curl in Thor's hair, knuckles urging him closer. Another flex of Thor's back and a low groan smothered between Steve's legs.

Thor is touching himself, Steve doesn't have to see to know. Color spreads hotter across Thor's cheeks. He is diligent, eager, gathering Steve deep, reveling in him until his breaths grow short.

Steve scrapes fingers over Thor's scalp. Thor's mouth pops open, and he gasps down Steve's thighs. His forehead rests on Steve's stomach as he catches his breath. Every now and then, his tongue darts out for Steve's shaft.

“I think…” Steve waits until he trusts his voice to be steady. “You should get up here.”

“But this is good.” Thor's voice strains from working Steve so deep. “I enjoy this.” A shudder rolls through Thor's body, making his breaths stutter. He's still touching himself, and Steve still doesn't have a view.

“I do too,” Steve says, “but I can't see you.”

“Oh.” Thor sounds startled, like it's out of the ordinary for someone to want to watch him. But he adapts with a smile and a darker shine to his eyes. “Of course, captain. If this is what you want.”

It is. It definitely is.

Steve props himself against the headboard as Thor settles between his thighs. Their kiss is quiet this time, soft appreciation for Steve’s own taste rimming Thor’s lips. Thor’s hand slides between their bodies to gather them both. His fingers are tight, and his cock blushes hot. Steve groans under his lips. Thor’s breaths stumble, a shiver in his hand as he strokes them together.

With a grin, Thor lowers his head, mouthing at Steve’s neck and the line of his collar. His tongue treats the hollow as a watering hole, dipping in slowly to take a lazy lap. Steve savors the flex in Thor’s back as he palms Thor’s hair away from his face.

Thor continues to Steve’s ribs, his navel, his abdomen, his pelvis. He drags his tongue over coarse hair at the base of his sex. Steve feels Thor's hitched breath and the excitement knotted between his shoulders. The look on Thor’s face as he settles between Steve’s thighs is one of pure need. He licks his lips as his fingers curl around the base, a thumb dragged up the underside. Steve shifts, a sigh on his lips.

Thor peeks up at him for a moment. Then, his bright gaze flits downward, and his mouth opens. He swallows Steve down in one motion.

Steve arches on the bed, caught completely off-guard. He fists Thor’s hair, his own pillows, anything in grabbing distance. It takes everything in his power to keep from choking Thor. Thor seems oblivious to this struggle. His muffled moan around Steve’s cock is as filthy as it gets. He bobs eagerly, Steve’s shaft worked in and out with ease. Steve’s skin glosses wet from Thor’s mouth. Thor’s lips do as well. Every once in awhile, Steve sees his tongue peek from behind his busy lips. It's like Thor loves the sensation and can’t help himself. Like in his hunger, he’s too impatient for the next taste.

Steve’s view is not great from this angle, but it’s better. He can see the shift of Thor’s waist towards the mattress. The squeeze of his ass as he thrusts into his own hand. The shudder through his thighs as he groans around Steve’s cock. Steve can even see the slight curl of Thor’s toes grinding into the bedspread as he tries to stay on rhythm.

“Oh god,” Steve breathes. Thor’s tongue rolls his balls in a lazy sweep. His mouth is a muscled, tight heat. Thick and constricting, amplified by every slow stroke of Thor’s tongue. A low purr has settled under his skin, a building tremor as his body presses fervently into his own hand. Steve combs back his hair and curls fingers into his shoulders. His waist rocks forward, he tries not to push too hard, but restraint is difficult. Steve needed this, he realizes. And though he doesn’t understand Thor’s cravings completely, he thinks he gets why Thor needed this too.

Steve drags a thumb over a corner of Thor’s mouth. The finger comes away wet, and Thor jerks from him abruptly. His high-pitched reaction seems almost painful. Thor laughs weakly. “Warning, captain.” The broken tone and flustered expression make pleasure boil thick in Steve’s gut. He cups Thor’s face, smiling, and guides Thor back to his cock.

Thor is more than happy to proceed. His nose grinds on Steve’s stomach as he holds him all the way down. He suckles deep, his throat so tight. Steve moans. A shudder crawls down his spine like a plucked guitar string. White spreads across Steve’s vision. The tips of his fingers tingle and body stiffens against the headboard. “Thor,” Steve gasps, “wait, w-wait, you can- you-”

Coming swallowed so far down is like an endless wave of pleasure. Thor drinks him eagerly. His cheeks hollow in, brow furrowed in concentration. Steve fists Thor's shoulders. He feels the strain in Thor's back, the tension twitching through his muscles. Thor has his legs drawn in, bent, hips arched to fuck his own hand in earnest. Thor sucks him and licks him until Steve thinks he might scream. Wave after wave leave him thoughtless and speechless.

Thor withdraws abruptly. His growl hums on Steve’s skin, and a gasp follows. A low, shaking, “Oh,” and a deep spasm through Thor’s waist. When Steve drags a thumb across Thor’s lips, Thor opens them and licks. Warmth curls through Steve’s stomach.

“Captain?” Thor mumbles.

“Mm?” Steve tips his chin to his chest so he can better see Thor’s face.

He finds a smile pulling at one corner of Thor's mouth. “What else would you like me to do?” A kiss follows, brushed above Steve’s belly button. Thor teases his tongue around the dip.

Startled, Steve feels his body respond, even through the comfortable blanket of exhaustion. His hips twitch, and his mouth-wet cock stirs in groggy but interested reply. “Oh,” he breathes, “that’s new.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Steve says, a tremor in his voice. “Nothing, just…” He glances at Thor. “I guess we can do anything, huh?”

Thor’s smile reminds Steve of some big cat on another continent. “Anything you desire,” he agrees.

Steve swallows back the reaction he wants to make. “Give me a minute,” he says. “Let me think.”

“I can help with that,” Thor offers. His 'help' involves pushing himself up to kneel between Steve’s thighs. Thor sets a hand on Steve's shoulder - wet, because...oh - and teases a kiss to his lips. “I’m quite inspiring.” Thor's grin says he is proud of this.

Steve tangles a hand in Thor's hair and urges him closer. Inspiration sounds pretty good right about now.

*The End*


End file.
